Aloha Everyone,
Below is a teaching from Pema Chodron.
HAVE NO EXPECTATIONS, JUST BE KIND,
Source from Pocket Pema Chodron, Chapter 35
A meditation student I was working with, whom I will call Dan, had a serious alcohol and drug problem. He was really making great strides, and then he went on a binge. On the day I found out about it, I happened to have an opportunity to see my teacher, Trumgpa Rinpoche. I blurted out to him how upset I was that Dan had gone on a binge. I was so disappointed. Rinpoche got really angry, it completely stopped my heart and mind. He said that being upset about Dan’s binge was my problem. “you should never have expectations for other people. Just be kind to them,” he told me. In terms of Dan, I should just help him keep walking forward inch by inch and be kind to him, invite him for dinner, give him little gifts and do anything to bring some happiness to his life — instead of having these big goals for him. He said that setting goals for others can be aggressive — really wanting a success story for ourselves. When we do this to others, we are asking them to live up to our ideals. Instead, we should just be kind.
Source from Pocket Pema Chodron, Chapter 35
A meditation student I was working with, whom I will call Dan, had a serious alcohol and drug problem. He was really making great strides, and then he went on a binge. On the day I found out about it, I happened to have an opportunity to see my teacher, Trumgpa Rinpoche. I blurted out to him how upset I was that Dan had gone on a binge. I was so disappointed. Rinpoche got really angry, it completely stopped my heart and mind. He said that being upset about Dan’s binge was my problem. “you should never have expectations for other people. Just be kind to them,” he told me. In terms of Dan, I should just help him keep walking forward inch by inch and be kind to him, invite him for dinner, give him little gifts and do anything to bring some happiness to his life — instead of having these big goals for him. He said that setting goals for others can be aggressive — really wanting a success story for ourselves. When we do this to others, we are asking them to live up to our ideals. Instead, we should just be kind.
Namaste – Cathi
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